"Going to get serious for a moment. Please excuse this mess."
As I walked out of the house at 4:45 AM (yes, that’s what time I leave for work every morning) it was eerily calm and quiet outside. It seemed much darker than it should have been and completely still without a sound. I had to concentrate just to hear the traffic on I-95 (usually not a problem). It was at this moment that I had to remind myself that the world moves on, with or without me.
Yesterday was not a very good day at all. I was notified that the extension of my time here was not going to be approved. I received a call from my contract company telling me I had 13.5 business days left and that we must begin the process for my "deportation" (kind of what it feels like when you have to leave a government organization…especially as a contractor sitting at the client site). I have to admit, it hit me pretty hard especially since I still had no interviews in site.
When I got home, I was not in a very good mood. A little depressed, stressed and confused. My wife was trying to keep my spirits up and my kids were running around living their ‘free from school’ summer lives. At one point my oldest daughter decided to hide around the corner and scare the bejeezus (shut up…it’s a word) out of my son. She scared him so bad his socks were the only thing left where he stood a second ago. I laughed for the first time that day.
Losing your job can be very hard on a person, especially when you realize that there are 4 other people (along with me…no my ego doesn’t count…this time) that depend on the money you bring in. I got scared yesterday and my "socks" were left where I stood. I don’t scare easily. The only thing that truly scares me is letting my family down. That’s how I felt for most of yesterday.
This morning, in those few steps from my door to my car, in that oddly silent moment, I remembered that this isn’t that bad. I have been through much worse. This isn’t even close to the worst moment of my life.
A few years ago, my youngest daughter was diagnosed as an epileptic. I held her many times while she seized that day. The worst part was knowing I can’t do anything to help her. After each seizure, I looked in her eyes and saw the confusion in her face and the desperate pleading for some protection…but there was nothing I could do.
But I can do something about this. I refuse to give up and I am in for the fight. A moment of clarity in those few steps from door to car this morning. It’s rare to get a moment like that, but when you do take full advantage of it. I will continue to push and find my way back to work for my family…and for myself. This is just a job. My life is at home. I don’t work for the job, I work for my life at home and I refuse to let this job come between me and my life. There is a new job waiting for me and I will find it.
Time to reload and renew. Let’s get this ball rolling. Sorry for the serious moment, but I needed it. I promise to get back to a more light-hearted blog in the next post. Just needed a kick in the ass today. I am good now.
Status Update: 15 days until unemployment…until I get to have my summer life.
It is certainly a painful process to get a job nowadays; particularly the IT types. I just came back from taking a year off to care for one of my ailing parents, and job searching was extremely difficult. I got a lot of phone calls from the annoying Indian Recruiters (AIR), and in desperation I always gave them my updated resume, my last 4 digit SSN, and my MM/DD of D.O.B, as they requested. Then I never heard back from them. I then kept trying. This is the fourth month now, and I got a technical phone interview from Apple last week. The conversation went well although the phone interview was more like an interrogation session. Yesterday I had another technical phone interview from Apple for the same position. This time it was actually an interrogation. The dude on the other end asked me detail questions about how I wrote a control app to talk to an oscilloscope to collect data and string up my PC to the instrument. He was probably in his lab looking at the real Osccilloscope while quizzing me on how to communicate with this device, in such minute detail, and I answered his question, then he jumped to the next question, and used my previous answer against me, something like "you told me that you did...blah...if so, what would you do if another blah happen..." and this loop went on until he finally asked me if I had any question for him (we were out of time.) I felt very offended, but I could not afford to lose my composure. As for today, I am having a phone (interrogation???) with Facebook. I'll let you know how it goes.
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